Death

Last night, I received a SMS saying that a guy at high school had died of accident. Suddenly, I felt as if my blood in veils were frozen. Though I did not have chance to talk to him much back then, he was a nice guy in my memory. He is still too young to die…

It is weird. The feeling that someone you used to talk to, play with, smile with, and/or even quarrel with and shout at no longer exist in this world alive is really really obnoxious. Life is so short – that philosophy has rooted inside me since I was no more than a 5-year-old kid crying all the way to my great grandmother’s grave. That’s right. Time is required for a baby to be born healthy and well-being. But there’s no queueing and no waiting for death. It just simply comes and takes you away regardless age, wealth, social status or whatever that defines you in this world. At times, it comes too fast for you to realize that you are no longer alive and for others to accept that apparent yet bitter fact.

Thousands of times have I asked myself a question, ‘Is there a life after death?’ Every year when my parents burn incense on my grandpa’s and my grandma’s death anniversary, I wonder if my grandpa and grandma can truly feel the love and gratitude of their children through those so dim threads of smoke. Obviously, no matter what the living do to worship the dead, never can they escape from the naked truth that the dead are dead. They are now just a cluster of ash with no feelings. It is said that ‘death is end’. That’s right to some extends. It is true for those who already lie under three feet ground but it is never true for those are still breathing in and out. Life must go one and they must continue to live no matter how hurtful and how tragic their lives might become. And yet, the pain of losing someone close, of missing someone beloved, yes, they will have to bear it every single second in the rest of their lives.

I am not so emotional to spend time writing a post in the memory of a guy I did not talk too much. It is just because the cause of his death, an accident. I used to cause an accident and act like a coward escapee. And now that a person I know is dead, once again the feeling of being sinful invades my soul.